5 year Anniversary!

I somehow missed my 5 year anniversary of blogging. So here I am, saying Happy Anniversary, dear blog. Some of you have been reading from the beginning. Some of you have just started following. Either way! Happy 5th Anniversary, you guys!

So, I tell The Pastor the news. Notes From The Parsonage is five years old. He says, “You have to do something.” I asked, “Like what?” I mean, I guess I could throw a party and post pictures of my partying in my living room alone. But that just sounds sad. He suggested a top 10 post. So, that is what I’m doing. The top 10 Notes From The Parsonage posts to date.

1. Plastic Bag Holder Tutorial

2. Crayon Wallet Tutorial

3. Boston Creme Cupcakes

** Oh my goodness! Look how tiny Aidan was. He’s 5 now. And reading. And not so squishy looking. Although he still eats cupcakes much the same.

4. Double Ruffle Pants Tutorial

5. Superhero Cape Tutorial

6. Tweedle Bugs Diaper Review

7. Carpet Cleaning

8. Graham Bear Wear Diaper Review

I’m still using these. Just got them back from a friend and will be using them again soon!

9. Double Twirly Skirt Tutorial

If you have a little girl, take the time to make this skirt! It has been over 2 years since I made this skirt and she is still wearing it! (It is knee length now.)

10. Corn Puns Abound!

This has been the most baffling thing to me. Why are you people so very concerned with corny jokes? Seriously. Corn puns? I’m perplexed.

So, I see a pattern. You people like sewing. I like sewing. We’re a good match. There will be many more sewing tutorials coming. I’ve got a few planned. Some baby stuff is coming. Some girly stuff is coming. Some boy stuff is coming. It’ll be fun!

Here are the top 10 search engine terms that get you to me:

1. corn puns

Really?

2. Crayon Wallet Tutorial

That I get. No one wants to pay for a rectangle. That is how this post came to be in the first place.

3. Superhero Cape Tutorial

There are several of these floating around. You can easily find one to fit your fancy and your skill level.

4. Tweedle Bugs Diaper Review

I understand. It is cheap. Is it good?

5. Plastic Bag Holder Tutorial

Everybody needs something to do with those plastic grocery bags. Even in the age of the canvas tote, we all find ourselves with the plastic devils.

6. Crayon Wallet Pattern

See #2.

7. How to Make a Crayon Wallet

See #2 and #6. People really don’t want to pay for rectangles.

8. Ruffle Pants Tutorial

They look so easy. You don’t need a pattern. And you know it.

9. Vanilla Pudding Filled Cupcakes

Because they are amazing. No matter what fancy baked goods come out of my kitchen, the filled cupcakes are always a hit. Simple. But a hit.

10. How to Make Cupcake

Not sure about the grammar of this search. But cupcakes are yummy, and I assume the hundreds of you who entered this search were just fiending for a cupcake so badly, you just typed so quickly the s fell off.

Thanks for a great, and surprisingly successful, 5 years! Here’s to five more!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be Happy!

It seems like so many people are mad this week. Probably because of that thing which shall not be named. Those that are not mad about the thing seem mad that other people are mad about that thing. So, I am doing to the internet what I do for Emery when he gets really upset. Showing pictures of animals. Yes, when my 3 year old get so angry he can barely speak, I sit him down and we look at animal pictures. It works for him, so maybe it will work for the internet. All of these photos are my personal pictures. Enjoy!

I Hate Mother’s Day.

I know, I know. It is probably bad for a Mom to say that hate Mother’s Day, but I really do. The last several years, it has occurred to me that days like this are just silly. They make people feel obligated to “honor” people, even if those people aren’t exactly deserving of the honor.

So, a couple years ago, a Facebook friend of mine, who is a single dad, posted on Mother’s Day that it was his day, too, since he’s been Mr. Mom for his kids, he wants recognition on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Then, another friend, who was spending her first Mother’s Day as a mother after years of trying to conceive writes on her Facebook wall that in addition to honoring mothers, let’s not forget about those who want to be mothers and honor them, as well. Then another Facebook friend says that we should be honoring Aunts and female friends, as well, because they act as mothers in our kids’ lives. Um. Okay. So, I’m gathering that Mother’s Day is for everyone.

Then, you’ve got those mothers out there (not you, of course, unless it is you) that were awful mothers and expect an extravagant Mother’s day because they had a baby at some point and that is what the day is about, right? Plus, throw in there the arguments about whether an adult male should honor his mother on Mother’s Day or the mother of his children, and you’ve got everyone fighting for attention.

Add to all this the advertising to get everyone to spend way more than they can afford on Mom or she’ll be all mad that you don’t love her enough to buy her a 3 carat necklace and matching tennis bracelet and you’ve got a huge mess. There is this pressure to get a “big” gift for Mom every year. If you only get her a $5 card (why are cards so expensive these days?) she’ll be mad, she’ll know you don’t appreciate her. You’ve got to get a personalized, expensive gift every. single. year. or Mom will be crushed.

Now, we’ve got Grandmothers mad that their kids are passing them up for their wives or for themselves. You’ve got wives mad because their husbands are shelling out way too much money for a gift for his mom to make up for the fact that he will not be seeing her on the actual day. You’ve got single dad pissed that Mother’s Day isn’t about him (though, ahem, Father’s Day is around the corner, dude.) You’ve got the TTC woman who thinks the whole day is just a slap in her face because everyone out there simple inhales and gets pregnant. (And I’ve been there, too.) You’ve got moms who weren’t good mother expecting everyone to thank them for … well, I’m not sure what they want recognition for, but they want recognition, dangit! Ugh. It is a mess.

Let me tell you something, I’m a good mom. (Yeah, I said it, I’m a good mom.) I don’t need a holiday for my kids to tell me I’m a good mom. I don’t need my husband to shell out hundreds of dollars on me to show that he appreciates me as a mother. I don’t need guilt gifts from my family. My kids tell me I’m awesome. They tell me they love me. They don’t need to be guilted into it by the day on the calendar. (And really, only one of the four even understands what a calendar is at this point.) Aidan often tells me I’m the “best mom ever.” (He’s cute like that. He also says “thank you” when I wipe his butt.) My husband tells me all the time that he appreciates all I do for our kids. He thanks me for being a good mom. I don’t need gifts for this job. I don’t need Mother’s Day. I would like a new blender, though, but maybe just because it’s Sunday or something.

Tattoo

This is my new tattoo. New tattoo, this is my blog. It is brand new. (Obviously, it is still in plastic.) I knew when I decided on this tattoo I’d get asked a certain question a lot. Now, I know there are plenty of other questions, but there will be one that people ask most often. I’ll hit the other questions first.

Where did you get this tattoo?

When I need a referral for anything, I ask the ladies of ICAN of Atlanta. I wanted a tattoo, so I asked for their recommendations. Among their recommendations was one for Family Tradition Tattoo. So, I did what anyone would do. I stalked those recommended on Facebook, and decided I’d check out Family Tradition. I am very, very pleased.

Not where, as in location! Where on your body?

Oh. See, this is why you should fully understand the question before answering. Sometimes “where do babies come from?” isn’t quite what you thought. The tattoo is on the inside of my left wrist.

Did it hurt?

Yes, a little. Completely bearable, but it wasn’t an hour massage. It was an hour of needles in my wrist. Which surprisingly is much less painful than the previous sentence implies.

What does the Pastor think?

He knew what he was getting into when he married me. He should expect such nonsense at this point. (And he knows what is good for him so he says he likes it.)

What do the kids think? 

Emery said, “Dat’s coot!” Aidan said, “Mom! That is beautiful!” Imogene said, “Where’s Peter Rabbit?” Ransom said nothing, instead just tried to get me to feed him. (Typical.)

What does it mean?

Here is the kicker question. The one I am certain to be answering for years to come. (Maybe people will stop asking me if I know what causes “that” and ask instead about my lovely ink. Maybe.)

You knew you recognized those sparrows, right? See, here they are in their original form. In the story of Peter Rabbit. I used to read this book to Imogene every night before bed, so I know the story well. In the story, Peter disobeys his mother and goes to the Farmer’s against her warnings. Peter finds himself trapped and gives up hope. Some friendly sparrows fly down to Peter and implore him to exert himself. Peter musters the strength to free himself and get away, avoiding destruction.

Now, the sparrows could have done what I would do and tell Peter he’s in the predicament because he lacks good sense and refuses to listen to wise counsel. The sparrows could have freed Peter themselves, making them the hero of the story, but they don’t. They simply offer encouragement for Peter to do what they know he can do.

As a mother, I feel I need to be more like these sparrows. I need to be more encouraging (and not just to my children). I need to build others up, not tear them down. I am confident Peter realized the error of his ways. He didn’t need the sparrows to tell him what an idiot he was. As a mom, it is my job to be like these encouraging sparrows. I should be standing on the sideline imploring my children to exert themselves, do their best. It isn’t up to me to rescue them from every situation, but to help them find it in themselves to be their own heros, to do it themselves. As a friend, it isn’t my place to tell my friends when they mess up or what is wrong with their lives. We all know too keenly what is wrong in our lives without others pointing that out to us. (And I’m not talking about accountability, just meddling.) What my friends need is an encouragement.

^{1 Thessalonians 5:9} For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, ¹⁰  who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. ¹¹ Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

When I look at these sparrows, my hope is that I will be reminded to encourage rather than to nag.

Are You Sure You’re 31?

The Pastor has a 31st birthday coming up. What did he ask for (for the second year in a row)? A bike. Yep. This year, I gave in and to the bike shop we went. We got this Felt for him. He loves it.

He wrecked on is first trek. No worries, the bike is fine! But no one saw him wreck. Boo! Can you imagine driving down the road and seeing a 31 year old dude wreck his cruisin’ bike? We’re not talking racing bike. We’re talking a Cruiser. Ha! (And I hear this is common other places- it is not out here in the ‘burbs of Atlanta. He’s the only dude I’ve seen on a cruisin’ bike. Plenty of guys in spandex on racing bikes, but few just cruisin’ to the coffee shop. Maybe he’ll bring the cool here. We’ll see.)

The kids were stoked to see his boo-boo from his wreck. “You mean grown ups fall off their bikes, too?!” “No, not grown ups. Dad.” Ha! Okay, I’m poking a little too much fun. But he does love his new bike. And I’m glad to see he loves it even after wrecking it on the way to the coffee shop. Maybe I’ll sell his car.

Let’s Talk About Forgiveness

Let me just say that for most people, forgiveness doesn’t mean what you think it means. And what you think it means generally depends on what side of the action you find yourself on. I’ve been thinking quite a bit about forgiveness over the past year or so and have found that most Christians have no clue what they are talking about when it comes to forgiveness. Much like death, forgiveness is generally met with cute little sayings that are entirely wrong, or at least not completely true.

First, let me talk about this forgive and forget stuff. First, it isn’t the Biblical truth you think it is.

^{Matthew 6:14}  For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, ¹⁵ but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

^{Matthew 18:21} Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” ²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

^{Mark 11:24} Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ²⁵ And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

^{Luke 6:37}  “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned;forgive, and you will be forgiven; ³⁸  give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

^{Luke 11:3} Give us each day our daily bread,
⁴ and forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation.”

^{Luke 17:3} Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, ⁴ and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.

^{John 20:23}  If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”

^{Colossians 3:12}  Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness,humility, meekness, and patience, ¹³  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ¹⁴ And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Did I miss something there? Did you see any mention of this forgetting business? No? Me, either. See, the truth is, forgetting has nothing to do with forgiveness. What I see is the Bible telling us to forgive as we have been forgiven. I see the Bible telling us to forgive the trespasses of others. Does it say anything about forgetting? Nope. Does it say anything about just letting that person continue in their ways? Nope. But what about the verse that says to forgive our brother 70 x 7? What about that? I’m no scholar, I don’t claim to be. But from my reading, it is simply asking the limits of forgiveness. And there are none.

Please pay attention to the Luke 17 verses above. If he sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. Well, that paints an entirely different picture, doesn’t it? Have we forgotten rebuke in recent days? It doesn’t say “condemn” and it doesn’t say to rebuke those outside of the church, now does it? So, we sit around and complain about all the hypocrisy in the church, but where is that brotherly rebuke? It isn’t there. We aren’t doing it. Why? It’s uncomfortable. And if we speak into others lives in such a manner, they have the right to speak into ours, and we’d prefer it to just be me and Jesus, because He is easier to ignore sometimes. (Especially when we’re looking through a cloudy glass and listening with muffled ears. You want to know why the Church? This is why. We need others to speak rebuke into our lives at times. We need them to speak grace to us. We need them to show us mercy. We need Jesus in a tangible form, and that is what the Church provides. That is what you miss when you say, “It’s just me and Jesus.” It isn’t just you and Jesus. It is Jesus and His Bride, aka, The Church.

So what is forgiveness?

forgive |fərˈgiv|verb ( past -gave ; past part. -given ) [ trans. ]stop feeling angry or resentful toward. (That’s from the dictionary, folks.)

I see nothing in that definition about getting a pass to behave however we please. I see nothing in there about “making it okay.” I see nothing in there about having no consequences. You still reap what you sow. You still have consequences for your actions. Forgiveness is simple one party letting go of the anger. It is one party saying, “You wronged me. I’m not saying that is okay, but I am saying I’m letting it go. I’m not giving it more space in my head. I will not be bitter about this.” That is forgiveness.

Surely, now you see that this isn’t exactly a stopping place. There must be more if relationships are to be restored. Or there must be an end to the relationship. You don’t just stay in this state of “I forgive you” and you do nothing. Something has to come next. Which, is why, most people throw the forget thing in there. But that isn’t Biblical or even productive. So where do you go from there?

Well, now it is really up to the forgiven to decide. Much like it is when we accept Christ. He forgives us, but that isn’t the end of our story. There is more! Jesus didn’t just die, he was raised, and that means something. If forgiveness was all that there was, then His death would be enough. He did. Debt paid. Move on. But the story doesn’t end there, does it? He conquered death and hell. He rose again. He ascended into Heaven. He died for us, but then he was raised! What does that mean? That means I am more than forgiven. Not only is my debt paid, but I have the opportunity to be made right. I have the opportunity to ascend. It is much more than a pass, it is a relationship. Saved. Sanctified. Made right. Made whole.

So what does that mean with our brothers and sisters? Our fellow man? Well, it means that something comes after forgiveness, and that something is reconciliation. The forgiven repents, changes their ways, and continues a relationship with us. Or they don’t repent, continue on their same path, and are removed from us. That second way, while clearly not preferable in most cases, is not sinful on behalf on the forgiver. It is not a sin to forgive someone and then allow them to walk away. Reconciliation is a process we’ve forgotten. We are often too quick to simply allow someone to continue on without making any changes after we forgive them. And we feel guilty that we feel wronged by them over and over. We’re urged to accept them as they are. We beat ourselves up trying to figure out what we can do to minimize their actions. We try to , essentially, bear their sin so they can keep sinning.

I am not telling you not to forgive. On the contrary, I urge you to forgive. I urge you to challenge yourself to forgive those that has done inexcusable things. Just let it go. What I am telling you is that after you forgive them, it is up to them what happens next. Sometimes, people are truly remorseful and are eager to make things right (reconcile). They are happy for the opportunity to move forward and are eager to right their wrongs. Other times, people are not sorry. They don’t much care that they hurt you. (They may offer a non-apology, because they don’t want to loose you as a punching bag- apologies are a discussion for another day.) But know, it is okay for you to let them go. It is okay for you to let them choose their way. You’ve forgiven them. You’ve given them grace. When people refuse to change, sometimes the best thing you can do is let them deal with the natural consequences of their actions and let them leave your life.

If you are looking for more on this subject, I highly recommend “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend, especially if you are from the side of the forgiver.

 

 

33 Tips for Maintaining Your Sanity While Raising a Toddler

Meet Emery. Adorable. Right? Come on, you know that kid is cute. Life with Emery is not always easy. I know, I know. You’re looking at that angel face saying, “Certainly he is the most perfect child ever!” Okay, so you might not be saying quite that, but something along those lines. But this kid is a challenge. And it is my daily mission to stay sane, while raising him lovingly and letting him be who he is.

This isn’t my first trip to the Raising-A-Toddler rodeo, and it won’t be my last. I’ve still got years of this stuff ahead of me. I’ve learned some things along the way thus far. And I’m sure I’ll have plenty more of these tips once Ransom enters the ranks of toddlerhood. But for now, here are 33 tips for maintaining your sanity while raising a toddler. There may be some you just cannot do. And that’s cool. There may be some that you just don’t need with your perfectly behaved toddler. Okay. Lucky you. Some of these may be just the perspective changer you need.

1. Messes can be cleaned.

It doesn’t matter how big or small, know it can be cleaned. And if you don’t know how to clean it, grab some Dawn dish soap and jump right in. It can’t be worse than the mess in front of you, right?

2. If you are not willing to DO something about your toddler’s behavior, don’t SAY anything about it.

I call this “saving my nos.” You know there are times when you’re, say, melting chocolate on the stove and you notice your toddler taking book after book off the shelf into a room beyond your line of vision. You aren’t willing to leave the chocolate to burn, so you yell, “No! Stop taking books off the shelf!” Well, your toddler will likely not listen to you. You are then left in the predicament of continually yelling at a little person who now KNOWS you aren’t willing to actually DO anything or you just let it go, and you’ve wasted a “no”. (You said no, they didn’t listen, nothing happened.) You get your blood pressure up about it. And you aren’t even sure of what they are doing in the other room. You might be right, they might be making a book tower to stand on to grab that beautiful ceramic vase they’ve been eyeing for years. Or they might just be giving each stuffed animal a book to read. You don’t know. But to save yourself the future trouble of them testing your no and save yourself the headache of having to keep yelling at the kid when they have clearly tuned you out. Just keep melting the chocolate. You’ll deal with the mess later.

3. Toddler proofing is not the same as baby proofing, and you need to do it.

When your baby was small, you baby proofed your house. You crawled around looking for hidden dangers for baby. You cleared off the coffee table. You put foam edges on your hearth. You plugged all the electrical outlets. But now, that baby is a toddler. And he can reach anything you can. Why? Because he can climb like a frickin’ monkey. (Seriously, Emery can scale walls!) So, that baby proofing you did just isn’t enough. You’ve got to tether the furniture to the walls. Anything of value needs to find a home in a box and hang out in the attic for a few years. Because, let’s face it, those peanut butter covered finger are just drawn to whatever it is Mommy finds most valuable to her. Wedding photos meet sharpie. First edition signed copy of a book, rip….. Glass vase passed down every generation on your wedding day- crash! Save yourself the headache and heartache and just put them away. (And by away, I mean far, far away. The top shelf might be 7 feet high, but your toddler can still get to it.)

4. Embrace the zen of things being already broken.

I once read an article about embracing the zen of toys being broken when you get them. Basically, you get something new and in your mind, the thing is broken. You spend each day that it isn’t broken excited, and loving it for the time. But when the day comes and the thing breaks, you don’t grieve, for it was already broken. Sounds strange. Sounds crazy. But it works. And it doesn’t just work for toys! It works for that awesome coffee cup you just bought. Or those lovely stemless wine glasses that you have been eyeing and finally possess. One day, they’ll break. View that as an inevitability. And when the day comes, and your coffee cup breaks (in the hands of your toddler, I’m sure) or your set of 8 wine glasses is down to 3, you’ll be okay. You won’t be upset. Because you viewed these as transient things.  You enjoyed them while they were whole, and now you can move on.

5. Don’t buy double rolls of toilet paper!

But I’ll have to change my toilet paper more often! Hear me out, here. You buy a double roll, you use it for a few days, then your toddler decides to put the end in the toilet and flush, watching the whole roll unravel on its way down. You just wasted over half of your double roll! Buy the single rolls. When your toddler has his inevitable toilet paper adventures, less paper waste and lesser chance of a clogged toilet. Embrace the single roll!

6. Don’t get over-zealous about potty training.

You know, one of the most stressful events with a toddler is not the messes he makes or the things he breaks. It is teaching him to quit pooping himself. Most parents really stress themselves out over potty training. They have some self-imposed deadline in their head and their child will be potty trained by the deadline, dagnabit! Only, the toddler isn’t aware of the deadline. The toddler isn’t even completely convinced in the necessity of using the toilet. And so the battle begins. I battled with my first with the potty. I begged. I cried. I bribed. I gave up. I resolved to get her on that blasted pink potty! She eventually got it. She’s 5 and she can use the toilet now, praise the Lord. I stressed us both out over something she was eventually going to get. My stressing over it and pushing her did not help her in the least. It did not help me in the least. Aidan got a bit forgotten in the potty training area. I potty trained Imogene and needed a break, though it was “his turn” since he is not too much younger than his sister. I didn’t bother, citing that boys needed longer anyway and I needed a potty training break. Guess what? He still learned to use the potty. On his own. No tears from me. No begging. No bribing. He figured it out all on his own. Now, he is that kind of kid. (You know the type. Engineer brain, I call him. He sees the way things work and he applies it for himself.) But the point is, he learned without my efforts. So, don’t stress out over it. They’ll get it soon enough and diaper days will be behind you.

7. Don’t compare toddlers!

If you’ve got more than 1 child, you know that no two kids are alike. Yet, you’ll often find yourself comparing what your younger one is doing compared to your recollection of what the older one was doing around the same age. You’ll find yourself comparing your toddler to the one you see at the park. Stop it. Stop comparing. You’ll only frustrate yourself. The kid you see at the park, you see for just a few moments of her day. You don’t see the little train wreck she is a bed time or the way she pitches a royal-knock-down-drag-out fit if she even senses healthy food of any sort in her vicinity. Assume you see every toddler at their best. (Or, if you see their fall-on-the-floor-thrash-around fit, assume they are at their worst.) But don’t compare. I’ve had 3 toddlers thus far and can tell you they are each very different and each complicated in their own way. So what if Suzy 2 year old can recite her ABCs and count to 20. Your kid can climb trees higher than most adults!

8. Find a way to internally mock those “my kid is better than yours” or “I know everything” parents.

I’m not saying be mean to them. I’m just saying, take lightly everything they say. So, Suzy can count to 20. I’m sure there is something Suzy cannot do. Don’t let Suzy’s Mom make you feel like a bad parent. Your kids are different. You are different. She doesn’t know your kid. She doesn’t parent your kid. You re the expert on your child. Ignore Suzy’s Mom. Making a farce of such parents will keep you from taking their criticisms and “advice” to heart. It’ll keep you sane.

9. Don’t be embarrassed by your toddler’s escapades- they are no reflection on your parenting ability.

People without toddlers look at a tantrum and say, “Look at that horribly parenting. If that were my child I would, blah de blah blah. And furthermore, my child will never behave in that manner!” If you’ve ever had a toddler, you look at a toddler’s tantrum and say, “Man! I remember those days! Stay strong, Mama. This too shall pass.” See, there is always going to be someone in the crowd (usually the least experienced) who will have some critique and assume your parenting is to blame. But the majority of the crowd knows that this is just what it is like living with a toddler! So ignore the few that don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. Ignore those shocked stares. Let your toddler pitch his fit because his Happy Meal now comes with fries and apples. (How dare they give me both and not let me choose anymore!) The “experts” around you (those normal moms who have toddlers or have had them) sympathize. Don’t feel the least bit bad or guilty. Toddlers pitch fits. Some more than others. You’re still a good mom. (And in my book, you get bonus points for continuing on your merry way and not let the fit even so much as faze you. I know you are my sister, a girl after my own heart!

10. What works for one toddler, will not work for all toddlers. What works for one mom, will not work for all moms.

You’ve been on the internet (you’re on it now!), you’ve read all the advice from all the “experts” about how to potty train, how to get your kid to eat better, how to limit temper tantrums, how to stop your toddler from biting. You’ve tried some of this sage advice. You feel like a failure when it doesn’t work. Wait! What happened?! Andrew’s Mother swore up and down bitter apple would stop my child from biting his brother again! But it just made my child more angry and he bit me! What did I do wrong?! You didn’t do anything wrong. You just aren’t raising Andrew. (And I do not recommend bitter apple for biting. I’ve never even heard of using it with kids, only dogs. So don’t try it and cite me on it.) You’re not Andrew’s mom. So, though the “experts” may claim (and I always check and see if the expert has even raised children) a fool-proof plan to sneak veggies into your child’s diet, know your child may not be fooled. There is no one size fits all advice for toddlers. There is no one size fits all advice for parenting. I’ve got 4 kids and have to do things differently for all 4. You think you’ve got this parenting thing in the bag, and then the next kid doesn’t respond to your ways. Nothing is wrong with them, or you. You’ve just got to adjust and adapt.

11. Just because he likes it today, doesn’t mean he’ll like it tomorrow. (Just because it works today, doesn’t mean it will work tomorrow.)

These toddlers are fickle little things. Today, string cheese is their favorite snack in the world! Tomorrow, they throw the cheese at you and scream! (You fool! Don’t you know string cheese is out! Fruit leather is the new string cheese! Sheesh.) Today, you find he’ll actually clean up his own toys if you play the “Clean It Up” song by Yo Gabba Gabba. Tomorrow, you turn the magic tunes on and he makes a bigger mess! Don’t fret. Toddlers are fickle. It isn’t you. Just roll with it.

12. Put the number for poison control on speed dial.

You know, the moment your kid ingests floor cleaner is usually a few moments after he flushed that poison control magnet down the toilet. Go ahead and put the number on speed dial. And don’t worry, poison control assures me that they aren’t tracking my calls for investigative purposes. (Yes, I called so much I had to ask.)

13. Put the number to the local Children’s Hospital Nurse Line on speed dial.

You’re at the playground, suddenly the stick that was a pretend sword is now in your toddlers eye. You’ll be glad you’ve got the nurse line on your speed dial to determine if your should take your toddler to your regular doctor, urgent care, or the ER.

14. “Child Proof” is a relative term.

When dealing with a toddler, “child proof” simply means it buys you a little time before they get into whatever it is you’re trying to keep them from. They’ll eventually figure out those cabinet locks. They’ll eventually figure out the child-proof medicine tops. The trick is to not give them long with those things, so hopefully you don’t have to call poison control. With a toddler, you want to double and triple up your child-proof stuff. (Medicine in a child-proof bottle, inside a tote with a latch, inside a cabinet with a lock.) Hopefully you’ll catch them before they get through all layers of protection.

15. Switch to more child-friendly cleaners, at least while they’re in this phase of life.

I know, you love your bleach and ammonia. But how much are you going to love your toddler getting into those things? Consider switching to more kid-friendly cleaners, at least until this exploring and destroying phase is over. (Fabuloso is safe-ish around toddlers. It is just soap, so drinking it just upsets the tummy. I know from personal experience.) Switch to vinegar or just soap and water.

16. “Spill-proof” is a relative term.

Spill -proof usually means that when the cup falls onto its side, it does not spill completely. However, when a toddler shakes it upside down, it might sprinkle. When they throw it against the wall, it might leak. And of course, they could just suck it out and spit it all over your white couch.

17. Lids are a must on all cups- even yours.

You think to put your toddler’s drink in a spill-proof sippy, but what about your sweet tea you keep with you all day? Put a lid on that, too. It won’t keep it from getting spilled, but it will minimize the mess when it is spilled. Consider travel cups for everything anyone in the house is drinking that isn’t at the dinner table.

18. Invest in a steam cleaner.

If you’ve got carpet and a toddler, you need a steam cleaner. Even if you have your carpet professionally cleaner twice a year, you need a steam cleaner. Some messes are just less stressful with a steam cleaner around.

19. Remember, your main goal of the toddler years is simply keeping the child alive.

If your toddler is alive at the end of the day, you’ve done your job. It doesn’t matter that all they’ve eaten is dog food and they’re covered in marker. They are living. No permanent damage has been rendered to them today. Good job, mom!

20. Delight in small victories.

Life with a toddler can be rough. It is easy to get bogged down. You’ve cleaned mess after mess, the house is still a wreck, the kid is throwing his umpteen-thousandth temper tantrum, and you’re about to loose you shmidt. Learn to celebrate your small victories! He colored mostly on the paper with the Sharpie this time, only a few marks on the table- that is improvement! He ate 2 beans at dinner tonight when yesterday he tossed his plate against the wall. Winning! He brought me a book to read to him! Sure he only sat for a few pages, but he is interested in reading! Yes!

21. The cuter the outfit, the more staining the mud/lipstick/paint.

It never fails, I put my toddler in the most adorable outfit and before we even get out of the house, it’s ruined. And not ruined like, he can’t wear it today. Ruined like, he’ll never wear this again. It just seems to always happen. The cuter the outfit is one him, the bigger and deeper the stain. Save your sanity. Enjoy the cute outfit for the two seconds it is cute. If you have to, put it on them and take a picture immediately. We all know the outfit will never be the same. (This is why I laugh when people say, “Oh, you’ve got three boys! At least you already have all the boy stuff to pass down.” Pass down? What’s that? Do boy’s clothes beyond a certain size make it out in one piece?)

22. If you don’t make the most of unconventional canvases, they will.

Toddlers love to make messes. It is just part of their little natures. If you don’t provide unconventional canvases to make messes upon, they’ll find their own. So, let them color the side of the house with chalk. Let them use the chalk to “decorate” your brick hearth. Because if I’ve got to choose between cleaning chalk of the hearth at the end of the day and cleaning Sharpie off my white chenille bed spread, I’m going with the hearth. (The second is impossible.) Their messes will be made. So take advantage of opportunities to put the messes in the best place for you.

23. The second you try to show them off, they’ll act a fool.

Emery can count. He can count very well. The second I say, “Emery, show Mrs. Jan how you can count.” he acts out. Not just folding his arms and refusing to count (though he has done so before). But yelling, screaming, kicking, “Noooo!”

Emery tells jokes. He only knows one joke, but varies it constantly. If I say, “Emery, tell Daddy your joke.” That kid will act like I’ve got two heads. Suddenly the word “joke” has no meaning. So, I prompt him. “Say, ‘Knock, knock!’” “No!” “Come on Emery. ‘Knock, knock!’” “NOOOOO!!!!”

24. Don’t take it personally.

They love you. Really they do. Screaming “No!” in your face and then throwing a cookie at you isn’t a personal affront. They don’t think poorly of you just because they scream “SHUT UP!” when you say, “I love you, sweet boy.” None of it is personal. It isn’t you against them. It is just them learning how the world works. (And by all means, you can tell them not to tell you to shut up or tell them they hurt your feeling. Though, I wouldn’t expect empathy- they’ve got none. Little sociopaths.) So, don’t get your feelings hurt when they refuse your kisses. They are just flexing their autonomy. It’s nothing personal.

25. They do not like age appropriate toys.

Save your money, they aren’t going to play with that toddler toy that is “all the rage.” Being a top toy only means that lots of parents buy it, not that lots of kids like it. You get them a play broom, they’ll still scream for the Swiffer. You get them a play kitchen, they’ll still be up under your feet to “help” you cook. Toddlers like the real thing. No fakes. So, shorten the Swiffer and let them to town. (You can actually shorten a Swiffer to be kid sized. Just remove one of the rods in the handle.) Give them a duster and let them work. Hand over spoons and bowls and let them play.

26. Limit your expectations.

They are toddlers. It is a difficult transition phase for you. They were your baby, now they are growing. As they grow, it is easy to have unrealistic expectations. While we can’t treat them like babies, we also can’t expect 5 year old behavior from a 2 year old. Just because they can sometimes help pick up toys doesn’t mean we can expect them to keep their rooms clean. Just because they sometimes refrain from taking the toys of others, doesn’t mean we expect them to be self-giving all the time. Anytime you find yourself frustrated that your toddler isn’t behaving as they should, think about what it is you are expecting of them and decide if it is an acceptable expectation. Don’t sell them short, but don’t hold such high standards they’ll always fail.

27. Don’t expect them to just go with the flow.

There are toddlers who go with the flow. It is built into their little personalities. They’ll always be that way. Everyone cannot be that way. So while you may wish you’re little one would just go with the flow, he may be yelling, “Go with the flow?! Woman! I am the flow!” And you know what? The world needs those kinds of people. Yes, they are inconvenient toddlers, but they make awesome leaders.

28. Bribes just don’t work. Save your breath and money.

Bribing a toddler is a futile activity. They just don’t really get the whole delayed gratification bit, which is what a bribe is. Putting aside the discussion on if it is best or not for kids, plain and simple, it just doesn’t work for toddlers. You may find it works one day, because the kid is tired of feeling amicable that day. But you’ll find that with a toddler, more often than not, your bribes will fail. So save your efforts and don’t bother attempting it.

29. You don’t have to entertain them all day.

That is a novel idea to some parents, I’m sure. But the fact is, your toddler will be happy, smart, and well-adjusted without your over-enthusiastic attempts to keep him that way. They can play alone. They can invent their own games. You don’t have to schedule activity after activity for them. It is okay to sit on the patio and read while they pick at blades of grass. You don’t have to be actively playing with them all day every day. Sure, there are times you’ll want to have a planned activity for them, but they flourish with free time. I know you think, “Lordy me! He’s just bored to death. He’s just piling up rocks and then moving the pile! I need to do something with him.” But stop! He’s learning. He’s exploring. He’s safe. He’s happy. You can sit back, drink your lemonade and continue reading your Sookie Stackhouse novel. If you’ve been entertaining your kid every hour of the day, you may find him resistant to playing alone at first. Encourage him to spread his little wings. He’ll be entertaining himself in no time.

30. Enlist in the help of his little friends.

Sometimes, talking through toys is the best way to get your toddler to listen. With Emery, that means talking to Ribbert, his Scentsy Buddy. A few evenings in a row, Emery suddenly HATED the concept of bedtime. This, from a kid who would BEG to go to bed just 8 months before. I tried talking to Emery. I tried just making him go to bed and protest and keep putting him back in bed. In desperation, I turned to Ribbert. I said, “Ribbert, stop screaming at me!” Immediately, Emery was quite. I continued, “Ribbert, it is bedtime. There willl be plenty of time to play tomorrow, but tonight, you must go to bed.” Emery joined in, “To bed, Ribbert!” I tucked Emery and Ribbert in bed. “Would you like me to sing ou a song or tell you a stroy, Ribbert?” Emery replies, “He like song. Twinkle. Twinkle.” I sang the song. Kissed Emery and Ribbert, and they were in bed. Suddenly, it wasn’t a power struggle to Emery. I took it from being between me and Emery and made it between me and Ribbert. Emery was moved from his spot as being in the fight for control to being an observer. He was free to “give in” without loosing his autonomy. I gave him an out to stop fighting.

It won’t always work. (See the previous point about everything not working for every kid, every time!) But if you’ve tried everything else, give it a shot. if nothing else, it lightens the mood.

31. Give them options, but not too many!

Toddlers are learning that they can control things. They are suddenly the boss of their world. From babies being carried about with no control over who was holding them, where they were, what they ate, or what the wore they move into this new stage where they can cause things to happen. If they scream loud enough, long enough, they get their way. They want choices, dangit! The trick is to give them options so they can choose. Let them have some control in their lives. But don’t overwhelm them. I usually give two options when I can. At bedtime, I pull out two sets of pjs. This turns the tables. It isn’t about if they’ll consent to wearing the pjs, it is about which pjs they’ll wear. The same goes for snack time. The entire contents of the kitchen aren’t up for grabs (it would take forever, and many mind changes to get him settled on anything). He can choose a banana or some cheese crackers. He’s happy. I’m happy.

Of course, there are times when neither of the two options is sufficient. That happens. Stinkin’ tiny, cute dictators! You just have to know what things you’ll just let go and which are non-negotiable. Are pjs for bed a must or can they sleep in their diaper alone? Are you willing to say “no snack” or is it okay that they chose a fruit leather when you offered crackers or a banana. Is the couch an acceptable napping spot or do they really have to go to their bed, even if it means they won’t sleep? That stuff depends on you and what you know of them.

32. If it looks like poop, treat it like poop until it is proven otherwise.

If a toddler walks over to you holding anything that appears to be poop, you assume it is poop. If you find a “painting” on the wall and you think, “Is it chocolate or poop?” You treat it like poop. Never smell a toddler’s could-be-poop hands. You’ll just end up with poop on your nose. In the end, you’ll never regret treating the come-to-find-out-it-is-only-chocolate like poop. You will, however, regret assuming chocolate when it turns out to be poop. And 9 times out of 10, it’s poop.

33. Enjoy it. But don’t feel bad that you don’t enjoy the moment you’re cleaning human feces out of the carpet.

You know they’l only be toddlers once (Praise the Lord!). Take the time to enjoy the funny things they do and say. Enjoy watching them explore and learn. Celebrate this time with them. But don’t feel guilty that at times, you just can’t find the silver lining. Don’t feel bad about being annoyed that you’re steam cleaning chocolate footprints off the floor for the fourth time this week. (Blasted “fridge lock” never worked correctly!) Sometimes life with  toddler just sucks. Cleaning up their messes while being screamed at is no fun. Maybe you’ll laugh about this one day, but today, it ain’t funny.

Write down those messes they make. Maybe one day, you’ll get a book deal writing about all these escapades. That might make cleaning permanent marker off the hardwood floor worht it. Or maybe you’ll just pass your notes on to this toddler when he’s a grown man with his first child turning two. It just might bring him a bit of perspective. Or he’ll assume you are a vry lousy parent to allow him to stab his eyeball with fabric scissors not once, but twice! It’s okay. By the time his first child is 4, he’ll understand.

He’ll be a man one day. And this one, he’s going to be Chuck Norris.

Reading Next Year

I did not read as much as I would like in 2011. Part of my problem was not having any kind of plan. I spent much of my time that could have been spent reading trying to decide what to read next. (I’ll be posting my 2011 reading once the year is over and done. I’ve got a few books I hope to finish before then.) So, for 2012, I decided to make a list of books that I will read during the year. Then, there is less trying to figure out what to read next. (Unless, of course, I finish the list and then don’t know what to do.) I am sharing these with you for a couple reasons. The first being because I want to. The second being because I love reading people’s reading wish list or what they are reading, (I’m a big fan of Goodreads. Go be my friend so I can book stalk you!) so I assume other share my fascination.

 The Complete Father Brown Stories by G.K. Chesterton – This is a huge book. In fact, to be completely honest, I’m already halfway through it. I have been some partial way through it for the last couple years. I’m finishing this book this year. It is a very easy book to pick up and put down, since it consists of many short stories piled into one thick little book. At one point, The Pastor and I had a race going to see who would finish first. I will. I’m sure. He hasn’t even thought about Father Brown in a year, I’m certain.

 Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen. This is another book that I only partially read. I was reading it, loving it, and somehow I put it down and forgot I never finished it. I’ll finish it this year. It is shaping up to be a wonderful parenting book.

 Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and  Lisa M. Ross. This book has been on my wish list for quite some time. I always manage to push it further and further down the list. Not because I don’t want to read it, but because I have (and have read) what seems like a gajillion parenting books. However, I find that each parenting book I read makes me a better parent. Even if I whole-heartedly disagree, it makes me stop and think about what I am doing as a parent. I am expecting to love this book, based on the reviews. Hopefully, I am right.

 Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes. This book has been on my “to read” list since it came out. I just never get around to actually reading it. I’m hoping, like many other readers of this book, it will renew my love for what I do and give me a big feeling of “heck yeah!”

 The Creative Family by Amanda Blake Soule. Another book that has been on my “to read” list since it came out. Now that Amanda has another book out (actually, I think there are now 2 other books out), I need to read the first one!

 Signs of Life: 40 Catholic Customs and Their Biblical Roots by Scott Hahn. No, we aren’t Catholic. We’re Methodist. (Free Church Wesleyans, to be more precise.) But I find that I don’t quite understand Catholics as much as I would like to. I find so much of what my Catholic friends do so interesting and fulfilling. Naturally, I want to know more.

 Keeping House: The Litany of Everyday Life by Margaret Kim Peterson. Yet another book I began reading and never finished, though I was really enjoying it. I plan to finish reading this book this year. It is such an interesting book. (And I may have read most of it or all of it, but it was on my unfinished Goodreads’ shelf, so I’m going to re-read it anyway.)

 Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider. I have read most of this book, but was not at a place in my life where I could apply it. I’m hoping 2012 will be a better year for me and I can re-read this book and actually apply it to our lives. I skipped all the exercises the first time through, because I just couldn’t do them at that time. Things are much better now or will be better in a couple weeks, so I look forward to organizing and simplifying our lives.

 Crossed by Ally Condie. I downloaded this book on my Nook to read at my in-laws over Thanksgiving week. I read a few chapters. Turns out  had far, far less down time that I anticipated. Having kids, particularly toddlers, away from home is infinitely more difficult than having them in your own home. I eagerly awaited this book coming out, then I forgot about the release date (though it was on my calendar). I hate it when that happens. This is the sequel to Matched. I haven’t heard word of the third book yet. I would anticipate it in 2012, but who knows?

 Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card. I have been a complete Ender fanatic this year. Reading, reading, reading about Ender Wiggins. Such a great series. I am about halfway through this book and plan to finish in 2012. I put it down to read a couple of other books (I am so very bad about this) and plan to get back to see what happens to Bean and the crew. If you haven’t read Ender’s Game, you need to. But be prepared for this very long series that you will feel compelled to read.

 The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence by Gavin de Becker. I have been dealing with some very toxic people this year and a friend recommended that I read this book. Since this is the same friend that recommended I read Boundaries, which helped me tremendously, I’m taking her word for it. This will probably be among the first of the books that I read in the new year.

 Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. Yes, I read a lot of parenting books. I love them. I love the perspectives they bring. We often only know one view of parenting, and that is what we were raised with. It is both refreshing and helpful to see the same job through new eyes. To use the information you glean to be a better parent than you ever imagined being. No, I don’t apply everything I read in every book. Not everything works for every parent. I anticipate really liking this book based on reviews. I look forward to the new insights it will offer me as a mom to four wonderful children, who deserve a mom who tries her absolute best.

 Wicked As They Come by Delilah Dawson. When a fellow ICANer writes a book, you can bet I’m going to read it! It comes out March 27th. I’ve been following Delilah’s journey through her blog. Read her blog and her book!

 Beauty Queens by Libba Bray. See, everything is not serious with me! Beauty queens. Desert island. Body count. It is going to be awesome.

 The Dark and Hollow Places by Carrie Ryan. This is the series I cannot stay away from. I was not a fan of Forest of Hands and Teeth. It was okay, at best. Not nearly the complete awesomeness I expected. I said I was done with the series. I’d read no more. But I thought, how can Dead Tossed Waves be a dud? The name is so cool. Reviewers everywhere assure me, this book is better! This book is not the bore that the first was! Mary is gone! I bit. I read it. It was a little better than okay. I was still bummed. This story has so much freakin’ potential, how is it coming across so lame? Hopefully book #3 will finally live up to the expectation of both its name and its potential. Fingers crossed.

 Zombies vs. Unicorns by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier. Need I say more? Although, I’m pretty sure with a name like that, it is bound to disappoint. It is very difficult to live up to the awesomeness that is that book title. (And FTR, those folks listed as the authors are, in fact, the editors because the book is a compliation of short stories from various awesome authors.)

 The Prophet of Yonwood by Jeanne DuPrau. This is book number 3 in the Ember series. I have really enjoyed this series and look forward to reading the third book.

 Block Party– The Modern Quilting Bee by Alissa Haight Carlton and Kristen Lejnieks. A book about 12 quilters doing an online quilting bee. Hopefully it will inspire me. Hey, maybe 2012 I’ll get out of this no sewing rut! Who knows?

 Miette by Meg Ray. I had to have at least one cookbook on my list. And we all know I love to bake. Maybe I’ll find some new favorite sweet treat in these pages.

 Eve by Anna Carey. A futuristic dystopia I just must read.

 Thr3e by Ted Dekker. Everyone is always telling me how awesome Ted Dekker books are. I keep insisting that I have never found Christian fiction to be anything but hokey. (Maybe someone needs to do something about that.) But I have never read anything by Ted Dekker, so I cannot with 100% assurance say that he isn’t a good author. Hopefully the book is better than the title, because if the title is about as good as it gets, this is going to be a tough book to get through.

 Kraken by China Mieville. While the reviews are not good for this book, I still want to read it. I would have read it long before now had the reviews been favorable. Who wouldn’t want to read a book titled “Kraken”?

 Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs. The main reason I want to read this book is because the author’s name is Ransom. This book is on some of the top book lists for last year, so it is expected to be a good read. But really, I’m just reading it because of the author’s name. And the awesome cover. (Yes, I’m judging a book by its cover.)

 The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout. This past year, dealing with toxic people, has renewed my interest in psychology a bit. For those that don’t know, I worked as a psychiatric nurse just before becoming a stay at home mom. Psychology has always interested me. In fact, as a teenager, that was the field I planned to enter. This is a book, not just about the sociopath, but also how to protect yourself from them. (And let’s face it, some of us need that advice.)

 Life’s Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets by Lisa Quinn. “A crash course in Slaker Chic 101.” With all the other very serious parenting, organizing, and cleaning books, I thought I might be in need of some “let yourself off the hook” perspective in the midst of it. This book claims to contain tips, tricks, and short cuts to maintaing your home. It is also supposed to be a bit funny, while still offering practical advice. We’ll see how this stacks up to my homemaking library.

And that concludes my list. It is pretty short (25 books), but I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be punishing myself trying to “just get through” the list. I want to enjoy it. And if I finish early, I can always add more.

Now, I want to see your list! Send me a list (or link to your blog) of what you’ll be reading this year! I want to know. I love reading other’s reading lists. Funny little quirk, I know. But I’ll likely find books on your list that I’ll just have to add to my long list (of books that I want to read at some point in time). Of course, I’ll post reviews of these books, since that is what I do.

Tips on making a list: Add books you’ve already got on your shelf, but just haven’t gotten around to reading yet. Know your own pace. If you want to have a list of only 12 books (one book per month) and fly by the seat of your pants for anything beyond that, go for it. Just try not to make the list so big that it is impossible for you to complete your task. We all have other things to do than sit around and read. (I made my list slightly smaller than my usual book average. That gives me wiggle room for books that pop up throughout the year that I know I just have to read. It also adds room for the Amazon Vine and BookSneeze books I am sure to review.) Pick a variety. You may not be in the mood all year for vampires. Try to pick a good mix of genres you like. Think about what you want to learn or improve this year. Maybe pick a book or two that will help or inspire you toward that goal.

I’ll also be making a list of books for the kids to read in 2012. Stay tuned for that!

New Year!

First, my apologies on my recent lack of blogging. My computer keeps eating my pictures and I hate blogging without pictures! I think my computer hates me. Or maybe I messed something up. Or maybe it is a conspiracy to keep me from blogging! Whatever the case may be, sorry guys.

Now, you’re confused. New year? Yep. New year for me! Today is my birthday. So, I’m entering a new year of my life. Last year wasn’t so bad. I had a baby. I read a lot of books. I got some new to me furniture. I hung out with my kids, who are pretty fun people to be around. Good year. Stressful, but good. I’m hoping this year will be awesome. I’ve got big plans. Lots of books to read. (And my mother and father in law so graciously gave me a gift card for such things on my Nook!) Lots of games to play with those awesome little people around here. Lots of firsts coming up for Mr. Ransom.

Speaking of the Professor, isn’t he just adorable? He looks a lot like Aidan to me, only blue eyed. He is fitting in quite nicely around here.

He looks like a little doll. So adorable. Of course, I am the slightest bit biased. I happen to think all my children are awesome and lovely.

Speaking of adorable, isn’t Emery handsome? He hit this terrible two phase a few months back. We thought something was seriously wrong with the child. We took him to the doctor because his behavior was so insane, we thought he must have some mental issue. He had also begun loosing a bit of weight due to these tantrums. (He asks for a banana, you give him a banana. He screams, smearing banana into the carpet, crying. What? Oh, you didn’t want a banana after all Emers? And on and on the cycle would continue, resulting in him not eating much of anything.) What did the doctor say? He said Emery is normal. Perfectly normal. He said he is an extreme type A personality, so his tantrums will seem more exaggerated than kids with differing personality types. The doctor assured us that Emery was fine. He doesn’t like being babied and he is extremely task oriented, so use those to our advantage. So, we asked The Princess to please start treating Emery like a kid, not a baby. We explained that he understands much more than he can articulate, and the words would be coming to Emery soon. We started treating Emery like a kid, not a baby. We started giving him jobs to do, tasks to complete, favors to perform. He is much, much better. Yes, he is still a wild man. Yes, he still climbs the walls. But he isn’t so violent and his tantrums are far less (in severity and frequency). I reread Making The Terrible Twos Terrific by John Rosemond (I recommend it to anyone dealing with toddlers) and Regret Free Parenting by Catherine Hickem (I received this book for free through the Amazon Vine program for reviewing purposes). I’m a reader, so reading books helps me deal with issues. Even if it is just an attitude shift, that can make a huge difference in the middle of toddler battles.

The Pastor bought me this wonderful camera for my birthday! I was extremely surprised. I’ve been wanting a DSLR, but have been hesitant to commit to such a thing, since I am not a professional, nor do I have aspirations of being a professional. I just like taking pictures. And I hang the pictures I take all over my house. (Which means there are no pictures of me in our house.) I’m in love. It is a Pentax K-x. Extremely easy to use. I still have more playing to do, but I like it a lot so far!

And word on the street is that I’m going on a date with those two handsome fellows tonight! (It is a surprise, but I don’t do surprises. So, I’m in on the surprise for myself.)

We also went to the Aquarium earlier this week for my birthday per the request of these two. I got  Mommy and Me passes to the Aquarium. If you haven’t gotten one yet, they are well worth the money. $29.95 for one adult, up to 4 kids 5 and under, and free parking. They are available until December 15th. Of course, the kids loved the Aquarium. Imogene likes the whales, the sea urchins, and the sea horses. Aidan liked the jelly fish and the humphead wrasse. (Look that one up. He loved it.) Emery voted present.

I usually make my new year’s resolutions on my birthday. But this year, I’ve got nothing really that I feel like needs to be “fixed.” We’re happy. We’re healthy. I’m good. I will be learning to use my new fancy camera. And I’ll be reading and playing and making things. I’ve got great people around me. “Life is good, Sheriff Bob!”

Conversations On Missions

Imogene and I were talking last night about missions. It was a very interesting conversation that began with “Mom, what are bills?” It was news to her that we had to pay for the lights, water, gas, and food in our home. She asked if everyone had these things. I told her no, everyone does not have the same luxuries we enjoy. She asked about food. “Do some people not have food, Mom?” I told that some people do not have food. She asked why. I told her they didn’t have money for food. She said, “Well, can they gather grain, like Ruth, to make bread?” I told her that while some people could, that not everyone can. I tried to explain that proper farming for enough food to feed your family also costs money and sometimes things don’t grow. I explained that while she had her favorite foods, some children would be happy for any food. She said, “But Mom, there is plenty of food. I’ve seen it. Why can’t everyone have it?” I tried to explain that the world just doesn’t work that way. You are expected to either pay for your food or grow your own food. She said, “But Mom! Kids are starving. Kids can’t pay!” So, I let her brainstorm solving the world’s hunger problems. Which is how the conversation led to missions. She had the idea to send people to poor countries to help them learn to farm, take them food, and show them Jesus’s love. I explained that people already do that. They are called missionaries. She wanted to know more about these people. I explained missionaries do many different things depending on where God had called them.

Now, the conversation took a turn to knowing the will of God. Of course, the topic every Christian teen struggles with. What does God want ME to do? She asked if God had called me to anything. I explained that we are here, in Atlanta, because God called us. I told her we are here because God has called us to this kind of ministry. She asked how we knew this is where God called us. She said, “How do you know? How do you know what God is saying?” I told her, “At first, you just pray, ‘God, I know you want me to do something somewhere, I just don’t know what or where.” Then you feel somewhere inside you says ‘China.’ And you think, ‘Hmm. Maybe He wants me to go to China.’ Next time you pray, you say, ‘God. I know you have called me to do something, somewhere. Maybe in China.’ And then deep inside, your feeling for China grows. You keep your eyes and ears open. Next time you pray, you say, ‘God, I know you want me to do something and I think it is in China.” That deep feeling is getting warmer now. Next time you pray, you pray, ‘God, I know you want me to do something in China.’ So, you start planning to go to China. What you’ll do makes itself clear. That feeling deep inside is sure that you doing what God wants you to do. You listen to wise people around you. You use what gifts God has given you. And you go.” She said, “Mom. I’ll go where God wants me to, but I’m not going anywhere with mean people.” Now, I could have told her that mean people are everywhere, but I didn’t. She’ll learn that soon enough. Instead, I responded, “Imogene, that is exactly where you should go. You should go where people need to see the love of Jesus most.” She said, “But Mom, I don’t know all of the love of Jesus.” Imogene often says she feels Jesus hugging her when she closes her eyes. So, I asked her to close her eyes. I said, “Did you feel it?” She opened her eyes and smiled and said, “Yes! I feel the love of Jesus! I can go!”

Conversations with our children come as naturally as that. I often hear parents wondering how to approach certain subjects. I meet teens who have very clearly never had any conversations regarding spirituality with their parents. Parents to think that is the church’s job. Or they think they are showing their kids this by example. We uprooted our growing family and moved in a 2 week window to follow God. Our kids were with us and transitioned with us as we made the move, had The Pastor working two full time jobs, and lived in a tiny house. They were there, yet they didn’t know why we did that. Sometimes the example just isn’t enough. Of course, if we hadn’t moved and hadn’t followed God, it wouldn’t be of much value for me to tell Imogene that she should follow God when I am clearly not. It just takes more than the example. The church should absolutely be teaching children orthodoxy. But parents should be teaching their own children, as well. And it doesn’t take a book, lesson plans, or unlimited time. It just takes answering simple questions and giving honest answers.