I thought I would let you in on a little secret. Fruit pie is EASY to make. Like, ridiculously easy! I say “unimpressive” pie, because once you realize how a simple fruit pie is made, you’ll never be impressed by one again. You’ll just think, “Well, I can do that!” Here is how you make a simple, unimpressive to those in the know, pie. (I realize I am revealing one of my secrets and now no one will be impressed when I bake a pie. But it is still tasty. If you want to be impressive, you may want to keep the recipe a secret.)

Pick a fruit. Blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries are super easy since they require no cutting- just wash them! Peaches work beautifully. You can try any fruit, but these 4 seem to work best to me. (For peaches, just wash and then cut them into smaller chunks that will cook quicker.)

Get a package of rolled pie crust. (They come in packs of two, and you’ll need both for your fruit pie. Pillsbury makes a nice one or the Kroger brand is good.)

About a cup of sugar to pour over your fruit.

About half a stick of butter.

Wash your fruit. If you need to cut it, do so. Put it in a bowl and pour about a half a cup to a cup of sugar over it. You can let it sit like this for 24 hours if you want, or go ahead and use it.

Unroll the first pie crust into your pie pan. Dump the fruit and sugar in. Cut pats of butter and place around in the pie. Put them wherever you like, just space them out. You can use as much or as little as you want. Unroll the second pie crust over the top of the pie. Roll the edges of the top crust over the edges of the bottom crust and press to the edge of the pie pan. Cut a few slits in the top of the pie crust.

Put your pie in the oven. (I usually bake mine at around 400 degrees. To keep the edges from getting too brown, you can take it out after 15 minutes and put aluminum foil strips around just the edges.) Bake until the top looks done.

That’s it. It is that easy. You can let it cool, put it in the fridge, or serve it hot. If you serve it hot out of the oven, you are going to have a lot of “juice” in your pie. The easy remedy is to cut one piece of pie (for the cook?!) and then either carefully drain by pouring straight from the pie into the sink, or you can use a small ladle to scoop the extra juice out. If you let your pie cool completely, you won’t have this problem- but I cannot resist pie straight from the oven, so I end up draining mine so we can eat it right away.

Now you know how unimpressive my simple fruit pie really is. It usually takes me longer to decide what fruit to use than it does in actual labor making the pie. Here are some really good fruit combos you should try:

Triple Berry (Blackberry, Raspberry, and Blueberry)

Blackberry Peach

Lemon Blueberry (Just squeeze a little lemon juice and put some lemon zest in your blueberry sugar mixture. Usually one lemon is plenty!)

Play with it and figure out what fruit you like best! And you can tell yourself it is semi-healthy since you made it with fresh fruit. (I know that is how I justify my second or third piece!)

The Pastor loves Tiramisu. For our fifth anniversary last Saturday, we all went to eat at an Italian joint and ate some tiramisu for dessert. For Father’s Day, the Pastor requested I make him some of my fabulous Twinkie Tiramisu. Of course, I made it for him. Would you like to know how to make it? It is super easy!

First, you need to know what to buy, right? Get a box of regular Twinkies, a regular sized tub of Cool Whip, a box of instant vanilla pudding mix, and you’ll need a little cocoa for sprinkling on top and about a sup of coffee.

You will have one extra Twinkie for eating when you make this dessert! I call it a treat for the cook! (Even though there is really nothing to cook- this is all assembly.

Arrange 9 Twinkies in a square dish. It is a tight fit, but as you can see, they do fit. Pour the cup of coffee over the Twinkies. Try not to add too much- you really just want it to soak into the Twinkies. If you prefer it to have a stronger taste- you can brew super-strong coffee or use expresso.

In a bowl, mix the instant vanilla pudding according to the directions of the package. Once you have it mixed up (before it sets), add about a third of the Cool Whip to the pudding. Mix it up well. It makes your pudding oh-so-light-and-fluffy!

Pour the pudding mixture over your coffee-soaked Twinkies. (You’ll notice mine in the picture has chocolate chips. That is because I didn’t have regular vanilla pudding on Sunday. I only had vanilla pudding with chocolate chips. It worked. It was actually pretty good.) Try to get it evenly on there.

Now, take the rest of the Cool Whip and spoon it over top of the pudding. Spread it over and make it look nice. Now, sprinkle cocoa on top! (You can use as much or as little as you want. I like mine to have a good  heavy dusting of cocoa.) Put it in the fridge to let the pudding set. (It really only needs about 15 minutes or so to set perfectly.)

Serve and enjoy!

I promised that I would post how to make my yummy Boston Cream Cupcakes. Well, here I am making good on my promise! Here is what you’ll need:

- one package of butter yellow cake mix

- one regular size package of instant vanilla pudding

- one container of chocolate icing

- cupcake cups (paper or foil- whatever you want)

- zipper top bag

Make cupcakes using the instructions on the box of butter yellow cake mix. Let them cool.

Using a chopstick or skewer, poke a hole in each cupcake. I wiggle my chopstick just a little to make a little room inside my cupcake. Be careful not to poke through your cupcake cup! (I’ve done that before and the filling comes out the bottom!)

Mix your instant vanilla pudding according to the package directions. Pour into a zipper top bag. (I usually do this while my cupcakes are cooling. ) Once your pudding sets (just wait a couple minutes), you can continue. Cut the corner of the zipper top bag. Don’t make your hole too big.

Now fill your cupcakes with pudding! Put the cut corner of your bag into the hole you’ve made in your cupcake and squeeze the bag! Be careful not to over-fill your cupcakes. You’ll notice if you’re putting in too much- your cupcake will start splitting apart.

Now put the chocolate icing on and you’re done! Eat and enjoy! I do not take the time to ice my cupcakes all pretty. I just blob some icing on. I’ve been let down by pretty cupcakes in the past. They look so nice and pretty- you bite into it and find that you were deceived by a pretty exterior. So, I make yummy cupcakes, not pretty ones! You can use any combination of cake mix, pudding, and icing you like. I have made chocolate with vanilla pudding. I’ve made butter yellow with chocolate pudding. You can make whatever your little heart desires!

“Chip, I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey!” For those that don’t get the reference, that is a quote from the movie Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. In my attempt to make mini monkey bread, I have created a dessert/breakfast The Pastor loves. I call it Spider Monkey Bread. It is just as simple to make as Monkey Bread, you just don’t end up with half a bundt pan of bread left over.

Ingredients:

2 cans of biscuits (10 biscuits per can)

1 stick of butter

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

2 tablespoons of cinnamon

Preheat your oven to 350. I always forget this part. It occurs to me when I am placing my ramekins in the oven that the oven isn’t hot. I then have to turn the oven on, wait for it to preheat, and stand around feeling like a doofus. Mix your granulated sugar with your cinnamon in a bowl. Hey! Hey! You’ve made cinnamon sugar! Look how talented you are. Take your canned biscuits out of the cans. This always proves to be the most difficult part for me because I, inevitably, mess up the “tear here” line and end up prying the can open. Cut each biscuit into 4 (or 6) pieces. (You can tear ‘em or cut ‘em. The size of the pieces is up to you. Just try to make all of them similar so they will all cook in the same amount of time.) Roll your dough pieces in the cinnamon sugar you made. Plop the sugared dough into ramekins. (I guess you could try other small things that you can bake. Muffin tins, maybe. I haven’t tried it because I have ramekins.) I usually make 4 ramekins. You don’t want to fill them to the absolute top because the dough will rise while baking. But you do want it to rise above the top of the ramekins. That is what makes it spider monkey looking. (Leave a space above the dough about the size of the end of my thumb. I’m really bad at guessing inches and such. So, I measured the end of my thumb with my yard stick and that would be about an inch.) I sprinkle in a little of the cinnamon sugar that is left over the top of the sugared dough, not too much, just a little. (About a teaspoon of cinnamon sugar per ramekin.)Place your ramekins on a cookie sheet. Believe me, this makes it easier to handle the hot little ramekins an it catches any glaze that creeps out during cooking. Now you make your fabulous glaze! In a saucepan, melt your butter. (You can use margarine if you want. I just usually use butter.) Once your butter is all melty, add half a cup of brown sugar. (I think mine is light brown.) You can add a little more than half a cup. I usually do. (I’ll remind you that I don’t measure things while I am cooking.) Stir and stir and stir and do not stop stirring the brown sugar. Your brown sugar and butter will begin to become caramel! Yeah! You’ve made caramel! Your talent continues to amaze me! Once your caramel is, well, caramel, pour it over the sugared dough in the ramekins. Just eyeball it and try to keep it evenly divided between the four. Put them in the oven. (Hopefully you preheated it and are not now standing there in front of a cold oven feeling like a doofus.) In 10 to 15 minutes, you’ll have spider monkey bread!!! (You will know it is done when it has not yet burned and no longer looks like raw dough.)

I will warn you about spider monkey bread. Once you start making this for those you love, they will ask for it often. Don’t make the first batch if you aren’t ready to make the second! (The Pastor should be proud. That was almost a Wesley quote.) The end.

You must be thinking this is what life is like here at the parsonage, right? The Pastor really likes ham.

The Pastor grew up eating his grandmother’s chess pie. He made a request a while back for chess pie. I now have the perfect chess pie recipe. Here it is if you are a chess pie person:

2 cups sugar

4 tablespoons of butter

4 tablespoons of flour

5 egg yolks & 5 egg whites (separate the two, and beat the whites … so sad.)

1 cup milk

dash of salt (1/2 teaspoon for those that measure)

dash of nutmeg (1/2 teaspoon for those that measure)

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 unbaked pie shells (make ‘em or buy ‘em)

Mix the sugar, butter, and egg yolks. Add your salt, nutmeg, vanilla, and milk. (I really like to go a little heavier on the vanilla than 1 teaspoon, I LOVE vanilla. You can also be a little heavy handed on the nutmeg, too. Closer to 1 teaspoon of nutmeg really gives your pie a little extra something something.) Fold in the beaten egg whites. Pour you pie filling into your two pie shells and bake ‘em up at 350. They’ll take about 30 minutes. You can really tell with the chess pies when they are done, because the top slightly browns and you can really see it.

Since this one makes 2 pies, you’ll get around 15 servings from this recipe. The Pastor approves of this pie! Happy eating!

Chocolate chess pie always reminds me of my Granny. Every holiday we’d have chocolate chess pie. It was always so good. After my Granny died, I didn’t have chocolate chess pie for a long time. I didn’t want anyone to make it for me and I certainly did not want to make it. This past year, I decided to make chocolate chess pie for myself. Let me tell you, my chocolate chess pie is very good! Here is my recipe:

1 unbaked pie shell (homemade or store bought)

1 and 1/2 cups of sugar

3 tablespoons of cocoa

1/4 cup butter, melted

2 eggs, slightly beaten (poor eggs)

a pinch of salt

1 can of evaporated milk (5.33 ounces)

1 teaspoon vanilla

Mix the sugar, cocoa, and butter. (This is my favorite part. I always say, “Look, it is chocolate sugar!) Stir well. Add eggs and whisk your little heart out for two and a half minutes. (You can use an electric mixer. I like to whisk mine by hand. I get to avoid my hand mixer that aggravates me so and I get a good little workout! If you want to use your hand mixer, go ahead. If you have a stand mixer, boy am I envious! You want to get your texture good on this part. Your mix will go from a dark, rich chocolate color to a lighter, fluffier color and texture.) Add salt, milk, and vanilla. (I will admit, I have used regular milk and had the pie come out fine. It is up to you. Evaporated milk is perfect. But in a fix, you can use regular. I’ll also add that I don’t measure the salt or the vanilla. I put a pinch of salt in and a good dashing of vanilla.) At this point, if you want to, you can add chopped pecans. This would make it more of a Kentucky Pie, so if you want that, you can do it. I prefer the pure, unadulterated bliss of plain chocolate chess. Pour your mix into your pie shell (The Pastor prefers homemade, I really don’t care). I put my pie pan onto a cookie sheet. It just makes it easier to transport and catches any bubbling over you might get. Put your pie into the oven at 350 and leave it there for 35-45 minutes.

This pie will serve 1. Okay, so if you share, it will serve 6-8. It is good warm or cold, it is really your call. (I like it cold and for breakfast!) Enjoy your pie!

Tonight, I learned two very important lessons. The first is that if the grocery store is out of mai fun, sai fun is not a good substitute. Mai fun is a rice noodle. Sai fun is a mung bean noodle. In dry form, they look similar. That is what made me try. They looked similar, even had similar names. When sai fun is boiled, it turns clear and has the consistency of a jelly fish. It tastes fine, but looks and feels too creepy to enjoy. The Pastor ate it. I picked out and ate the chicken and veggies and tried to avoid the creepy noodles. The second lesson I learned tonight was that I probably shouldn’t give my dog curry. He ate a little of my Singapore Sai Fun and he was wheezing and coughing after a few bites. I really shouldn’t give Lucas Joe curry. I realize now that was a bad idea. Poor guy. He really liked the taste, but just couldn’t handle it. So, I learned a lot tonight.

I’ll start by saying that I am very cautious about my food. If I have the slightlest hint that anything has gone bad or is on its way to bad, I will not eat it. I am not one for leftovers or potluck. So, today, I take the lettuce out of the fridge to make salads for lunch. The lettuce is less than a week old, but it is a wee bit droopy. Normally, I would throw the lettuce away. I really wanted a salad for lunch, though. I thought I remembered Rachel Ray once saying that a bath of ice water would perk saggy lettuce up. I figured it was worth a try! I placed my saggy, sad lettuce into an ice cold water bath. Viola! Perky lettuce fit to eat! I was very surprised it worked. It is a neat little trick to know.